I think SOME people (I won't say any names, I'll just give you a very difficult clue that only the worthy could solve. His or her name rhymes with Schmeggie) out there are jealous that I read 2 books and was well on my way to finish a third.
The facts of the case are this, On Saturday November 22, A Miss Lauren Cozzens met me at a restaurant. And 'who is she?' some of you may be asking yourselves as you peruse this blog at your leisure. WELL, "she" is Reggie Gowland's FORMER ROOMMATE.
Now, I arrived at the restaurant (A MEXICAN restaurant no less-everyone knows that a sanchez would never turn down an invitation to eat the food of their homeland), with the book I was about halfway through: The Lost City of Z (I had spent time reading it on the El). Lauren sneakily asked me why I had a book at dinner and then cruelly made fun of me. She then offered to hold it for me in her purse and I NAIVELY handed it over. This book is then NEVER RETURNED to me. And I will now be unable to finish it, until a future date when I hunt this fiend down and pay ransom for my poor dear book. I will also have to start over on a third book which will completely throw me off toward my 50 book goal.
Am I saying that Reggie made up a fake movie, got people to invest millions of dollars in it, made sure Laurens production company was involved in the project, made sure they chose her to go live in Ann Abor for 3 months during the filming, and then diabolically sent her down to chicago this weekend to steal my book? Well I think the facts speak for themselves. This is war, Reggie Gowland. It's on.
The facts of the case are this, On Saturday November 22, A Miss Lauren Cozzens met me at a restaurant. And 'who is she?' some of you may be asking yourselves as you peruse this blog at your leisure. WELL, "she" is Reggie Gowland's FORMER ROOMMATE.
Now, I arrived at the restaurant (A MEXICAN restaurant no less-everyone knows that a sanchez would never turn down an invitation to eat the food of their homeland), with the book I was about halfway through: The Lost City of Z (I had spent time reading it on the El). Lauren sneakily asked me why I had a book at dinner and then cruelly made fun of me. She then offered to hold it for me in her purse and I NAIVELY handed it over. This book is then NEVER RETURNED to me. And I will now be unable to finish it, until a future date when I hunt this fiend down and pay ransom for my poor dear book. I will also have to start over on a third book which will completely throw me off toward my 50 book goal.
Am I saying that Reggie made up a fake movie, got people to invest millions of dollars in it, made sure Laurens production company was involved in the project, made sure they chose her to go live in Ann Abor for 3 months during the filming, and then diabolically sent her down to chicago this weekend to steal my book? Well I think the facts speak for themselves. This is war, Reggie Gowland. It's on.
1 comment:
FINALLY! Somebody brave enough to blame Reggie Gowland for her failures... I'd like to jump on this bandwagon.
You may have noticed that, in spite of an early lead, I only made it to 40 books in the 2008-2009 blog season. I was clipping along early on in the year, fell behind a bit with "American Prometheus," but even then the goal of 50 was still achievable. Then, the summer hit. During the summer I run a high school acting intensive with...wait for it... REGGIE GOWLAND. This program is a time- and energy-drain like nothing I have ever experienced, leaving me little time to read - ultimately causing me to cap off the year at 40 rather than 50.
Am I saying that Reggie tricked me into dating him for two and a half years so that I would visit his family in Idaho, fall in love with the state, eventually move there for fifteen months and work with the Idaho Shakespeare Festival Apprentice Program WITH THE SPECIFIC INTENT OF KEEPING ME TEN BOOKS SHY OF THE YEAR'S GOAL?!? I think these facts, just like Allison's horrifying tale, speak for themselves...
Alls I'm sayin' is, you'd best be watchin' your back, Gowland.
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