Stuff White People Like

Oy.

I'm so predictable! How did this happen? When did this happen? 

According to this book, I fall nicely into the 70% white category. Out of the 150 White Items in this book, I disliked 37 of them. The rest I either already like, or after reading their captions, immediately decided that I need to like them. Because I'm white. 

All The White Things That I Like:

Film Festivals, Assists, Farmer's Markets, Organic Food, Diversity, Barack Obama, Wes Anderson Movies, Asian Girls, Nonprofit Organizations, Tea, Having Black Friends (Pete Minta, where did you go??), Gifted Children, International Travel, Writer's Workshops, Microbreweries, Wine, Manhattan, 80's Night, Marijuana, Architecture, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart/The Colbert Report, Brunch, Renovations, Arrested Development, Netflix, Apple Products, Indie Music, Sushi, Plays, Public Radio, The Sunday New York Times, Liberal Arts Degrees, Whole Foods, Vintage, Irony, Sarah Silverman, Dogs, Kitchen Gadgets, Apologies, Lawyers, Documentaries, Natural Medicine, Toyota Prius, Bicycles, Expensive Sandwiches, Recycling, Coed Sports, Michel Gondry, Mos Def, Gentrification (is that so terrible?), Oscar Parties, Bottles of Water, Musical Comedy, Modern Furniture, The Idea of Soccer (because it totally sucks to watch on TV), Graduate School, Bad Memories of High School, T-shirts, Shorts, Outdoor Performance Clothes, Having Gay Friends, Dinner Parties, San Francisco, Music Piracy, New Balance Shoes, Beards, Red Hair, Non-Motorized Boating, Scarves, Self-Deprecating Humor, Integrity, The Criterion collection, High School English Teachers, Free Health Care, The New Yorker, Subtitles, Premium Juice, Plaid, Platonic Friendships, Reusable Shopping Bags, Acoustic Covers, Dave Chappelle, Nintendo Wii, Conspiracies, The Simpsons, Avoiding Confrontation, Following Their Dreams, Not Having Cash, Singer-Songwriters, Eating Outside, Books, Music Festivals, Glasses, McSweeney's, Hardwood Floors, Bakeries, Modern Art Museums, Public Transportation That Is Not a Bus, Dive Bars, Self-Importance, and Rock Climbing.

All The White Things That I Intend To Like Very Soon:

Coffee (it looks awesome and delicious, and I know that one day I'll most likely buckle under pressure), Yoga, David Sedaris, Wrigley Field, Living By The Water (sounds quite pleasant), Japan (never been, but plan on it!), Study Abroad (I guess I missed the boat on this one, but it seems like an incredible white journey on which to embark), The Wire, Having Children In Their Late Thirties (sounds like sound advice), Cleanses (the stomach kind), Portland, Oregon, and Therapy.

I guess I should be embarrassed about all of this, how my life can be so easily condensed into predictable list form. But then again, what about all of you? Don't you also feel a certain affinity towards these things? Netflix and dogs and being an expert on different kinds of cheese. Because, don't you see? WE are all white. Julie and Reggie and Ezekiel and Patrick and Joshua and Grant. And why can't we whites get together and celebrate all the wonderful things that we like? We're part of a giant club! There are millions of members! Lots of common interests! Don't you see?! WE ALL WIN!