OOOOk here I go

I know you are probably wondering why I haven't posted in a very long time. I'd like to begin this post with an apology for that.



Good morning. And thank you for joining me.
Many of you in this blog are my friends. Many of you in this blog know me. Many of you have cheered for me, or worked with me, or supported me, and now, every one of you has good reason to be critical of me.
I want to say to each of you, simply, and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in.



Wait...thats tiger woods' apology not mine. Ok let me try again....



This afternoon in this room, from this chair, I testified before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury.
I answered their questions truthfully, including questions about my private life, questions no American citizen would ever want to answer.
Still, I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private. And that is why I am speaking to you tonight.
As you know, in a deposition in January, I was asked questions about my relationship with Monica Lewinsky. While my answers were legally accurate, I did not volunteer information.
Indeed, I did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact, it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible.



Oh shoot! thats not me either.....Ok final try.



I'm sorry I have neglected this blog! I will be more diligent in the future! And now I present Allison Sanchez presents: A million reviews for the ages:

Her Fearful Symmetry-Audrey Niffeneggar

Here come the words of death. I had VERY high hopes for this novel and was looking forward to it for years. This is the first novel Niffeneggar has written since 2003's The Time Traveler's Wife (which is one of my favorite books ever).

The novel begins with dying. Elspeth, suffering from a long illness, dies and is buried by her lover. She lived in a flat in London adjacent to Highgate cemetery where many famous historical figures are buried. In her will, she leaves the flat to the 18 year old American twin nieces she has never met, with the condition that they must live in the apartment for one year and that their parents (Elspeth's twin sister and her husband) never set foot inside. Thus, by following several different characters (the too tightly bound twins, Elspeths grieving lover, Elspeths obsessive compulsive agoraphobic neighbor, her estranged guilt ridden twin sister, and finally Elspeth herself) this tale explores love, loss, betrayal and the ties that bind us.

This book started off in a slow, lovely way. I felt drawn in by the characters with their profound lonlieness, secrets, and lost identities. But slowly it started to lose me. Situations (like the main romance) felt forced and plays with the supernatural felt contrived and eventually too weird. The characters started off slightly unlikeable but with promise. In that way that you think as the novel progresses you will begin to love them for their faults and their courage to attempt to overcome them. But alas, they just become more and more selfish culminating in an ending forced by one of the twins that is cruel and childish.

I wouldn't say "Don't read this book" but I will say expect to be drawn in to the journey and then ultimately, completely disappointed by where the author takes you.

The Thirteenth Tale-Diane Setterfield

Half of this book (every other chapter) was really enjoyable and captivating, the other half made me want to tear my own eyes out.

Ok, that's an exaggeration. The deal is this, A very famous author who has never given an honest interview or account of her life/past contacts our narrator, a bookstore owner who lives in her books and is unable to step out in the world and live her life. The author read one of the bookstore owners little read, published, historical articles and has nominated her to be the one to tell her true story to. Our narrator moves into the eccentric old lady's home and the author begins her story.

The book alternates between the story the Author is telling and our narrators own thoughts about the story and woes. The story is a nod to gothic literature (and even mention Jane Eyre several times). I found myself captivated by the story but I hated the chapters where the book owner reflected upon it.

These are the reason the narrator is completely unreadable:

A. She's exceedingly stupid, at every twist in the story you figure things out about 30 pages before she does. It'll take her 4 chapters to realize that a letter engraved in a spoon that happens to be the same letter as the Authors last name stands for the author's last name. And then she acts as if she's so clever and god's gift to the world because she's figuring out mysteries on a 3rd grade level.

B. Our little miss Nancy drew relates every part of the authors story/childhood to her own and painfully (for us) dwells upon all her uninteresting sorrows

C. I hate her. And my opinion is correct.

So Bottom Line: I did not like this book as a whole but parts were great.

Revenge of the Spellmans-Lisa Lutz

This is the third book in a series of books about the Spellman family. They are a dysfuntional family of private investigators that lie to, bribe, and ransom eachother, are constantly bugging one another and recording conversations, and happen to be extremely likeable despite all that.

The book's narrator is the middle Spellman child, Izzy, who is trying to solve whatever mystery is in the book (which usually ends up winding her in jail several times), and deal with her crazy family (and her own neurosis brought on by them) while trying to learn how to be a somewhat funtional adult.

These are fluff reads but super enjoyable and actually genuinely funny at times. I would recommend them (the first is The Spellman Files) as "pretend it's warm enough to be on the beach" reads.

The Maze Runner-James Dashner

I read the Maze Runner while laying on soft warm sand on a pristine beach, with the sun beating down on me, hearing the waves gently crash against the shore while monkeys played in the near distance in Costa Rica (this is irrelevant to the review I just wanted to make you feel jealous for a moment.)

still feeling jealous?...good. goood keep feeling that way....... OK on with the review

I chose this teen lit apocalyptic novel mostly because I love teen lit apocalyptic fiction, but also because I love the Hunger games and this promised to be of similar awesomeness.

It wasn't.

It was ok, a boy wakes up in this world filled with other boys around his age with no memory of his past. None of the boys remember who they are or why they came to this place. All the know is that outside the giant stone walls that hold their prison is a seemingly unsolvable maze filled with monsters that come out at night. The boys have created their own society with sustainable agriculture and farm animals and jobs where every boy has his place. The most esteemed (and dangerous) job is maze runner. The maze runners spend all day running through the maze and documenting its route (Every night the maze changes itself) trying to find a pattern that will lead them out of this place. They must get back before nightfall or suffer a terrible death at the hand of the monsters. Anyway blah blah blah, who is keeping them there, who are they, whats the mystery of the maze, what happened to the outside world etc.... It all ended up being lamer than I hoped it would be. And yes "lamer" is a common reviewing term that all good book reviewers keep handy in their venacular.

Hunger Games-Suzanne Collins

Alright, So the next two on the list are rereads. I admit it. So SUE me. But I've been suggesting these two teen fiction reads to everyone I know and I got so jealous hearing how much people were enjoying them that I just had to read them again myself. These books are just awesome. Read them. I don't care who you are, you will LOVE them.

They are set in a future where the United States no longer exists. Instead, 12 districts are united by the Capitol. The districts are kept poor and overworked by the Elite and wasteful Capitol and evil president Snow. We learn that 74 years ago the districts revolted against this tyranny and were defeated. As punishment for their mutany the capitol forces every district to participate in the annual Hunger Games. Each district must draw the names of one boy and one girl between 12 and 17 to be sent to an arena to compete to the death for the televised entertainment of the capital. The novel opens with Katniss, a distirct 12 member, who volunteers to go to the games, when her 12 year old sisters name is pulled.

It just has everything in it: Excitement, Romance, Violence, Government Conspiracies all in an awesome Dystopic Future. Its teen lit, but everyone should read it.

Catching Fire-Suzanne Collins

The just as awesome sequel to The Hunger games!

Shutter Island- Dennis Lehane

I said a little how I felt about this book in my comment to Dorothy's review. I really did enjoy it. It was creepy and trippy.

The Forest of Hands and Teeth-Carrie Ryan

Ok, this is my last apocolyptic, dystopic teen book (its suddenly becoming crystal clear how my number of books is so high)

This last novel employs the only thing in literature that can make a good novel a great novel, Zombies!

Mary lives in the last gated human stronghold on Earth, several generations after the Zombie Apocolypse. Life has gone back to more primitive times and stories of far away places, electricity, and tall buildings have become nothing but fairy tales and legends. All Mary has ever known is her village and the endless forest she sees through the gates filled with the undead who claw and gnaw at the chain link fence that hold them back. The village is ruled over by the sisterhood who install religion and order over the remaining humans.

I was excited over this book when I read about it online and i literally went to four bookstores that were wold out of it before i could locate it and I was semi-dissapointed. I loved the premise. Most Zombie stories and movies happen right when things are breaking out and everyone is running for their lives. I thought setting this novel after people have been living with zombies for many years was interesting. Unfortunately the story fell a little flat. Mary and the relationships she has are uncompelling and its sort of a depressing read. I enjoyed it though cause how can you not enjoy zombies? Don't even bother trying to answer that quesiton, because it was more of a FACT.

ps on a lighter note-should zombies attack in real life and kill everyone you know and love, head to kennebec SD, Its the middle of nowhere and Thats where Im going to start our new colony of uninfected humans. You scoff now, but after the zombie apocolypse Im guessing you will remember this post and head to kennebec. It will give you the hope you need to survive. Youre welcome.

Beautiful Creatures-Tracy Chevalier

And FINALLY, we come to the last book. It's a novel based on real-life women fossil hunters who discovered some of the first dinosaurs in a time when it was not kosher to have unmarried women fossil hunters upstaging the men.

I couldn't put this book down but unfortunatly that wasn't because it was amazing. I just kept waiting for something to happen, for the good part to begin. It was like ok great character set up Tracy I cant wait for the action to start happening. Except it never did. I enjoyed the style of writing and i liked the characters but I dont think she found quite the right story angle that would make the actual story she was trying to tell pop. I'm just not sure what she was trying to say. Women can be friends from different classes except only sort if, Women can do anything except theyll be miserable outcasts, fossil hunting rocks in a really boring way? Pick any one of the three i guess. This book ended with me feeling flat and wishing that another novelist had taken the same historical people and come up with a better storyline.

So there you go, I am going to start the corrections as soon as I finish the current novel I am reading "the Girl with glass feet" which by the way is so far excellent. If you've read this far then BRAVO, you can count this post as one of your 50 books.